Tuesday, August 6, 2013

finally ready to (long)

This blog is going to be all about when we got pregnant with Addison. A lot of people don't know that our third pregnancy started off with two babies.
When we got pregnant jarrom and I were in shock to say the least. I took a test at night on the day I was supposed to start my period. I was in the bathroom and said "crap" and jarrom said "haha yeah right very funny" I told him I was serious that's when he freaked out lol.

Anyway we weren't into the doctors a few weeks later and to our surprise our Dr told us that we were pregnant with two babies we both were nervous and were super excited at the same time. The babies were growing a day apart but looked great!

The next few weeks we told a few people not a lot since we were pretty early on in the pregnancy.

We went into the drs and my in-laws watched the other two kids. As they called us into the back I was so excited to see the babies again.....then I got the words I hope no one ever has to hear. " I can't find a heart beat" my heart sank and I tried so hard to be happy that we still had one healthy baby. I was so shocked I felt fine and I had no signs of any problems.

Jarrom held my hand and walked me crying out of the office.we got home and I just laid in bed for hours crying, worried about the other baby and if it would survive. Jarrom called his parents and they kept the kids fir a long time.

Over the rest of my pregnancy I had good days and bad days. When I went into labor with Addison that was the hardest. The other babies water broke and after a while they realized it wasn't Addis so they broke hers. That was a huge reminder that there were supposed to be two.

After everyone left from visiting us at the hospital jarrom broke down. It was hard for both of us that we didn't get to meet our other baby. Addison was so perfect and we just couldn't stop living her up :) what a mix emotion day.

Still 2 years later I still cry all the time thinking about that baby and wonder what he/she would have been like. And I always feel like I am missing a kid I always count all three and subconsciously I feel like I am missing one.

I am so grateful for my kids and husband. I would be nothing without them. What an amazing man I married to support me still with everything! Sorry it was so long by I am trying to get it all out there so I can start to heal.

1 comment:

  1. I didn't know that. Sounds like a sad experience. I hope you will be able to fully heal from it, even though you might always have Addison's twin on your mind. That just shows how good of a mom you are--always thinking of your kids. :) I try so hard to remember that the Lord has a plan for each and every one of us, because sometimes I feel like I don't have any purpose (not being able to have kids and all that). I think your 3 kids are so adorable!

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